Last week a friend of mine, Patrice, came over to visit with her 16-month old daughter, Mia. I hadn’t seen Patrice or Mia in over 6 months so this was supposed to be a nice opportunity for us to catch up. Instead I spent the whole time completely and totally embarrassed by my sons behavior and have no recollection of what Patrice and I chatted about!

Ilans toy corner of our house has gone untouched for months. All of his toys are old, boring, and no fun for him anymore. He instead plays with everyday household items that are probably on the American Pediatric Associations “Do-Not-Let-Your-Child-Play-With” List, like plungers (kinda gross, I know) brooms, candles (unlit, of course!), pillows, etc.  So when Patrice told me she was on her way over I was excited for 2 reasons. 1, of course, was that I would get to catch up and see Mia. And 2, because the toys that we have spent the equivalent of a mortgage on were about to be played with! I did a quick dust-off and spray down of the toys with my ever-so-handy Clorox Anywhere and waited for the door bell to ring.

The moment Mia walked in the front door Ilan went into “mine-mode”. For the entire next hour I was battling with how to react to his inability to share the toys that he hadn’t played with in months. While Ilan was literally yelling “Mine”, “No Mia!”, “That’s My Truck”, and “Mamma! Mia My Toys!”, he quickly grabbed his Radio Flyer Red Wagon and filled it with anything and everything Mia touched. I wanted to disappear and let someone else deal with his behavior. My mind raced with a range of emotions. I laughed. A big part of me thought it was funny that he was behaving so terribly and SO out of character.  I tried to reason with him. “Ilan, let Mia play with this truck, you have an extra large Pottery Barn wicker basket full of 32 different trucks you can play with.”. I tried to be stern. I ever-so-gently ripped puzzle pieces out of his tightly gripped hand to give back to Mia while I got down to his level and sternly told him that he needed to share. I tried it all different approaches. And nothing worked. Although Patrice kept saying to me “Don’t worry about it, they will work it out” and “It’s ok, Mia can play with something else” I couldn’t help but wonder where I had gone wrong.

When Mia left, Ilan said “Bye Mia” with a huge smile on his face….and his red wagon still sits in the middle of our living room full of all the toys Mia touched that Ilan gathered. He once again, and almost instantaneously, has zero interest in his toy corner and is back to playing with unlit candles and wine bottles. Was this just Ilan being Ilan or have we finally hit the point where Time Out is needed? SUPER NANNY! HELP! I NEED YOU!

-Victoria

This morning Tristan felt a little warm.  Since he had a febrile seizure I have been a little paranoid taking his temperature and waiting for the worse.  Well I took it this morning twice and he was fine.  When we got to school I told to the teacher to keep an eye on him and to call me if he felt warm or looked like he wasn’t feeling well.

Well she called, about an hour and a half after dropping him off.  She said Tristan was really upset and crying and that he didn’t have a temp but that he definitely seemed off.  I rushed over there to check on him and as I approached the door, I could hear him crying.  My heart fell as I opened the door and saw him there crying.  He rushed to hug me and started to calm down, as did I.

It was lunch time so I helped him and Ilan get settled.  Tristan’s demeanor changed and he began acting like his normal self.  After lunch was nap time and that is when it got a little scary.  I knew that I should not take Tristan home so I told him that I would be back but he didn’t like that very much.  At the same time Ilan began crying because it was nap time ( not his favorite activity) and Talia began crying because it was lunch time for her.   Meanwhile the rest of the class was quietly trying to nap.

What a mess!! I wanted to run out of there.  I waited for the teacher to come there way, meanwhile trying to get the boys to calm down and read a book.  Ilan through his tears told me the names of the different animals in the book, Tristan began looking out the window at a girl looking in, and Talia was in my arms quiet.  The teacher came and distracted the boys and I left not daring to look back.

So Tristan was fine, I think it had just hit him finally that I wasn’t there.  He missed me!  Well at least I think he did.  When I went to pick him up, Ilan held onto his hand not wanting him to go.  Victoria soon walked in and they were both happy.  Happy to leave perhaps.

I am so glad the boys have each other as they begin this new chapter in their young lives.  I imagine it must be scary for them, just as it has been difficult for Victoria and I.  All four of us are lucky to be going through this together.

Today, well yesterday being that it is 2 in the morning right now, was Tristan’s first official day of school.  He handled it like a champ and quite frankly I was a little disappointed.  As Ilan cried for Victoria, my son did not have a problem beginning his school day.  He did want little to do with his backpack and knocked on the door of his classroom wanting to go inside.  It was no big deal!

In all the chaos of getting out the door with Roger’s help mind you, i got caught up in the idea of dropping him off on time and not forgetting anything.  Well we managed to get him there on time with his backpack, lunchbox, napmat, box of diapers and wipes, a change of clothes, some supplies, a family album, cameras, and oh yes his baby sister.  Before you knew it he was in the classroom playing and I was driving to practice.  It all happened so quickly! 

I wanted this day to be perfect, and it was for him.  I would have appreciated a little more “don’t go mommy,” but instead I got a report sheet that said “had a great day…. didn’t cry at all.”  I guess I should be happy, God gives you what you can handle.  I don’t know if I could have walked away had he been crying. 

We will see how the rest of the week goes.  I am grateful Tristan is experiencing this with Ilan, and myslelf with Victoria.

Clarissa

I have NEVER EVER wished a fever upon my son…up until this morning. Not a bad fever, just a teensy weensy little bitty bit of a fever. You know, one that was just enough to keep him home from school.

Today was Ilan’s first day of school and although I have been looking forward to this day for months, now that it had arrived and reality had set in, I realized I wasn’t so excited about the day after all. But I knew I had to suck it up, get him dressed, and get him to school. So that’s what Jorge and I did. All was good until we said “good-bye” to Ilan in his new classroom. As soon as he heard the words, he grabbed onto my pant leg with one hand and banged on a drum with his other. From what I could gather in that split second was that he didn’t really want me to go, but at the same time he really didn’t want to let the drum go either. This was my perfect opportunity to just leave, like I told him I was going to do. So that’s what Jorge and I did. We started walking out the door. Then it happened. As I pulled his hands from my pant leg I walked away…and started crying like a big baby. Then Ilan started crying and yelling for me and put his hands out and tried to reach for me, but I was already at the door and I knew that I had to keep going. It broke my heart. And I cried all day.

The first thing I did when I got home was grab my laptop and Google “homeschooling”. I could barely see the keyboard through my tears, but I really truly thought that “maybe, just maybe” I was meant to home school my children. In my whirlwind of emotions I decided that I should once again, suck it up, and just give this “school” thing a chance. So that’s what I did. I bookmarked my homeschooling page, shut the laptop, and went on with my day.

Six long hours later it was time to pick up Ilan. He was very happy to see me and the smile on his face when he saw me made me instantly forget about all the heartache I had been through. In the end, it was all “ok”. Not great. Just ok. I survived, Jorge survived, and Ilan survived. We all survived. Or as Ilan likes to say (thanks to none other than Dora and Boots), “lo seemos”…”We did it!” We made it through Day 1 of many many more to come…

-Victoria